"How much longer, bastardo?" Lovi said impatiently.
"Just a bit more!" Antonio replied cheerfully.
"Which just means that you really have no clue?"
"Lovi, all that matters is that you're here with me, mi amor." Antonio draped his right arm around Lovino's neck, other hand still on the steering wheel.
"BASTARDO! STOP! BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?!" Lovino grasped Antonio's arm, and threw it off of him, giving him a death glare. Antonio smirked, but did as Lovino told.
"I don't even know why I bothered to agree to go," Lovino mumbled peevishly. Antonio's smile brightened. Lovino was so adorable when he was in denial.
Antonio parked the car on the dirt road. They stepped out of the car. Antonio took a deep breath, "Ah! Smell that fresh air!"
"Something better than the smell of you," Lovi said. "Let's unpack our stuff," he ran to the trunk and carried bags of food.
"Can you grab the sleeping bags?" Antonio asked.
"Fine," he muttered in response, "Oi, bastardo, where's the tent?"
"…Tent?" Antonio's eyebrows furrowed. "OH! Hehe… Ah… About that…" He grinned guiltily, scratching his head with one hand.
"YOU IDIOTO!" Lovino screamed, "NOW WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SLEEP?!"
"I… Er… Um…"
"You go think of a solution to this mess you've caused. I'll be waiting for you in the car," he huffed, and stormed into the vehicle, slamming the door loudly.
Antonio had to think of a solution. He had a long piece of rope, and tied it to two trees opposite of each other. He then got a spare blanket and placed it on the rope. He nailed the ends of the blanket into the dirt.
"Lovino! Come and look at our tent!" he called. Lovi sluggishly walked over to Antonio.
"You call that a tent?!"
"Better than nothing, sí?" Antonio said with a smile. Lovino just grumbled to himself. It did sort of look like a tent…
"You're impossible, you know that?"
Antonio just smiled again. He knew that he had won.
Time to cook dinner! Antonio walked off to the bag of food and took out a pot, rice, and tomatoes. That instantly caught Lovi's attention. Antonio set up a campfire in the fire pit and placed the pot filled with water on top. Once the water was boiling, he dumped the rice in. He chopped up the tomatoes and put them in too. "The Spanish rice will be ready soon!"
"It better be! I'm starving!!" Lovi yelled. Antonio went back to the pot and stirred. Lovi turned away, and then there was an explosion. He quickly turned around and saw Antonio sprawled on the ground covered in rice. He sat up and said, "Haha, rice is done!"
"NOOOOO!!!!! THE TOMATOES!!!!!! YOU JUST WASTED PERFECTLY BUONO TOMATOES!!!!" Lovino's face was red with fury.
Antonio laughed. "With your face like that, perhaps we can use you as a tomato."
Bad time to make a joke like that.
Without a word, Lovino locked himself into the car, leaving Antonio to pound against the windows and beg for mercy. Lovino turned up the radio to drown Antonio out, but all he got was static. They were stuck in some godforsaken place in the middle of nowhere, after all.
"LOVIIIII!!!! I'M SORRY!!!! LO SIENTO!!!!! I'LL COOK UP SOME PAELLA PERFECTLY THIS TIME IF YOU COME OUT!!!!!"
Deep down inside, Lovino wanted nothing more than to get out of the car, forgive Antonio for every stupid little thing that he had done so far, and eat Antonio's amazing paella. But he was Lovino Vargas. He couldn't do that.
Antonio grabbed his guitar and played Lovi's favorite song. Hearing the familiar tune, Lovi turned the volume of the radio down.
"Oi, bastardo! You better get started on that paella, I'm still hungry!" Lovi called out after he rolled down the window.
Antonio beamed. He had won yet again.
Lovino ate the paella with a reluctant expression, even though he secretly would die for anything that Antonio cooked.
"Delicioso, sí?" Antonio asked.
"No. This stuff tastes horrible. I wouldn't eat it if there was anything else."
"Here, take more then!" Antonio gave Lovino the rest of his portion.
"I don't want it!" he screamed.
Antonio looked at Lovino for a long time, and sighed.
"Fine. I'm just going to take a walk for a bit. I know you don't want to come with me." Antonio sauntered off.
Deciding that it was safe after ten minutes, Lovino swiftly finished off all the paella. Oh, Holy Roman Empire, it was good. He'd just tell Antonio that a wild bear had come and eaten it off or something later. Perhaps it would make Antonio feel sorry that he had left Lovino. Stupid bastardo, walking off alone like that without inviting him…
The rustling of bushes behind him set Lovino's nerves on an edge.
It was just the wind or a small animal, Lovino thought, reassuring himself. I sure wish Spain would come back, though…
The noise grew louder, closer.
I-It's nothing… Nothing at all…
There it was again… The sun was setting… It was getting dark… Perhaps a bear really was going to appear…
"CHI-CHIGIIIIII!!!!!!! ANTONIO COME SAVE MEEEEEEE!!!!!! SAVE ME YOU BASTARDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"
"Wha—WHO'S THERE?!" A head popped out of the bushes, the tips of his shaggy blond hair just visible under the hood of his cloak.
"ACK EVEN WORSE IT'S THAT ENGLISH MAN!!!!! ANTONIOOOO!!!!!"
"Calm down! I just saw your campfire and decided to see my fellow campers!" Arthur sat down by the fire. "Nice evening, isn't it?" Lovino just sat there in terror.
Arthur's eyes began to change as he stared into the fire.
"When will that bastard come back?" Lovi thought.
"Bring on the fire. Bring on the hell," Arthur started to say, "Set everything ablaze, so that no trace remains." he repeated the saying over and over again. Something began to form in the fire. A devil? A demon?
"GAH!!!! ANTONIO!!!!" Lovino screamed.
Ivan's face popped up in the fire pit. "You called?"
"AN-AN-ANTONIO!!!!! SAVE ME, YOU BASTARDO!!!!!!!"
Arthur sighed in annoyance, partially due to Lovino's wailing, and partially due to the fact that he hadn't meant for Ivan to be summoned.
"Qué? What are you doing here, Arthur and Ivan?"
Could it be…?
Lovino turned around.
Antonio had come to save him!
"BASTARDO. WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?! COME SAVE ME ALREADY!"
Arthur looked at both of them in utter confusion. Ivan just stood there smiling.
"We were having a campfire party, of course!" Arthur said. "Then I decided to join because I like putting terror on people's faces," Ivan said with a grin.
"C'mon Ivan, let's leave this party got boring all of a sudden," Arthur said.
"Ok," Ivan followed the Englishman.
"IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU CAME BACK!!" Lovino pouted. Antonio didn't even do anything to make Ivan and Arthur leave, but as long as Lovino saw him as a hero, it was fine.
"So, mi amor," Antonio said. "Ready for the best part?"
Antonio chuckled, and Lovino blushed a deep, tomato red again. Just as Lovi was about to come back with some retort, Antonio pulled a bag of marshmallows out of nowhere.
"We're going to roast marshmallows around the campfire~!!"
"What did you say?"
"Nothing. Can we eat those marshmallows now?"
"Hold on. What happened to all the paella?"
"Uh… er… the jerks took the rest…" Lovi lied.
"Ok," but Antonio knew he had eaten the rest.
He opened the bag and, of course, he ripped it open too quickly and most of them fell in the dirt.
"BASTARDO, YOU'RE MAKING THIS TRIP THE WORST EVER!!"
"We still have five left, Lovi," Antonio said cheerfully.
Lovino rolled his eyes, snatched one of the remaining eatable marshmallows from the nearly-empty bag, stabbed it onto a stick, and started to carefully roast it over the warm flames. Just as he was about to pop it into his mouth, Antonio stopped him.
"Can't I eat a marshmallow in peace?" griped Lovino.
"I bet I can make the marshmallow better." Antonio snagged the stick away from Lovino's hand, took the marshmallow off, and put half of it into his mouth. He jammed the other end in Lovino's mouth, and their lips met...
Lovino had to admit. It did make the taste better.
And Antonio had won again. It was the best trip ever.